And When Did You Last See Your Father?

Last Sunday was not one of my ordinary ones. I was not out riding as I always do. I was originally planning to go out deep sea fishing with a bunch of friends but had to cancel that too. I was back in my hometown, sitting in the Intensive Care Unit, next to my dad’s hospital bed. It was a Sunday afternoon of mixed emotions; watching the man who was once strong and healthy (and most of the time very loud) now lying helplessly, struggling with his every little move.

A lot was rushing through my mind; reminiscing the many years of my life. He had always been the father figure – in his own unique ways. He may not be the perfect parent but so were we as his children. Everything good and all the success I have now would be his success as a parent. While we may not have such a story-book relationship, we do have our fair share of moments together. Here is the man who taught me how to find a good fishing spot, how to hook a bait, and how to unhook a fish. Here is the man whom I shared many motorbike rides together – with me pillion riding him on his 110cc bike and later him pillion riding me as I get older – of course with continuous commentary and annoying instructions along the way…

Probably one of my best recent memories of him was when I once surprised him and turned up in front of his house on my Harley. I was in between assignment locations and managed to squeeze in a one-week leave just enough to help my family prepare for the next move and went riding 450 km back to my hometown. I heard he was not feeling well so I thought I’d cheer him up. I must have told him at some point that I bought myself a Harley but of course many things didn’t quite register in his memory as always. I can still remember his face when he saw me that evening. The next day, the two of us were riding all around the kampung with him pillion riding at the back, visiting families and even attending a kenduri! He was proudly telling everyone even when they did not ask. I don’t think a ride with him like that will ever be possible again but that’s what I like about good memories; they linger around for a long long time. That was definitely one of the greatest rides of my life!

And now; he doesn’t even recognize me anymore. Alzheimer can be so cruel to the patient as much as to the people around him. When I first arrive at the hospital, he just stared blankly at me. I could just be a familiar face to him but would not register as anyone important to him anymore. It was sad but I kept reminding myself that I needed to be there for him regardless. It’s just that I’m not so good at feeling helpless.

As I sat there next to him, I kept wondering what he is thinking about. He kept talking, almost whispering, mentioning names and places but most of them don’t make any collective sense anymore. I believe those were the remnants of his memories and what’s left within pockets of history of his life. All his life he has been a great story teller with a keen sense of adventure but now he couldn’t even remember them anymore. What’s a great story teller without his stories…?

I was also reflecting of life’s many lessons in all these. The fact that everything comes to an end. What you did affect others in ways beyond of what you can imagine. Life is short so live it to the fullest but even when your life comes to an end; life of others that you have affected will continue, hence a portion of you will live forever… During my ride to the Red Centre I know who will be riding with me – it’s those who believed in me and also those who have made me the person I am today. And I can almost feel him smiling and enjoying the ride, minus of course the commentaries and the in-actual-fact-no-so-annoying instructions…
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An ambitious Sunday morning ride

The weather has been a bit unkind this whole week - it has been raining almost everyday! One evening I was riding home in the rain with my daughter after picking her up from her visit to the Gallery of Modern Arts (GOMA) for a school outing. But funny how winter in Brisbane is; it can be raining and windy in the middle of winter but the temperature is still close to 20ºC!

Finally after what seemed like a long week, the weekend arrives and so did the sun! I was not going to waste my last weekend (yup, last one before the fasting month - next Sunday I'm going deep sea fishing with the guys) so I planned a long ride around the South plains - over 300km! Google Maps says it would take 5½ hours but I think just over 3 hours will be enough.


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Bad start; had a late night last night hence late start this morning. Almost did not make it but kept telling myself, "Last weekend... last weekend...!" Where are all my riding buddies when you need them for morale support, huh? Anyway, finally made it out by 7:00 am. Stopped by the 7-Eleven near my house to fill up (yes, here in Down Under, 7-Eleven sells fuel!). A gentleman in his early 50s approached me after he filled up his 4WD. "That is a very nice bike!", he greeted me. I smiled embarrassingly and thanked him for his kind compliment. We chatted for a while about the bike and he kept praising it. I can almost see my bike blushing! "You must be a biker", I added at one point. "No", he said. "I just admire them..." I was thinking to myself how lucky I am. Off I went with a grin on my face and spirit high up for the long ride...

Look at these scenic view along the Rosewood-Aratula Rd.

Such a lovely winter morning... Notice the perfectly clear blue sky.

Other than slight bumps on the road every now and then (this road is not as good as the Ipswich-Boonah Rd in one of my previous trip - no wonder there are no other bikers on the road that day!) it was a lovely ride. Just when I thought how inland this route was and how far I was from the nearest town; I stumbled upon a group of about twenty cyclist! They must be crazier than I am!!!

I thought it would have been a perfect ride until about 20km after Rosevale I came across this sign. My Blackberry camera couldn't quite catch the writings but it says, "Bridge closed ahead. Take alt route". Now, who would've thought to put a sign so far out? They could have warn me before I passed the last junction, don't you think? Oh well, I can't argue on this because there is no one to argue with - so had to turn back some 30km and head East through the more familiar Boonah-Beaudessert-Nerang Rd.

Stopped at the usual place, my favourite Outpost Cafe and "hang out" with the other bikers. I actually did a total of 330km that day and fatigue starts creeping in on the way back. Another stop along M1 for an energy drink struggles to help. I wonder how the ride to Red Centre would be like... I need to be fit, I need to be fit...

Finally arrived home safely, and dry. And oh, here's the garlic bread served with Pandai's special sautéed garlic herb prawn French style I made for dinner for the family... How I wish the weekend never ends...